Cant or Wont?
There's a fine line between cant a wont.
Especially when it comes to sleep.
Some people have to, but then again there are those of us who can get by on a few hours a week or less.
This leaves us more time to think.
Pro and a con.
You find yourself questioning everything.
meanings.
relationships.
messages.
simple tasks that people ask you to do.
not everything has something behind it, some vendetta, some ulterior motive.
but when you're running on empty, you're paranoid.
hearing things.
thinking things.
seeing things.
was that the door slamming?
foot steps on the stairs?
maybe if I keep clicking away on this keyboard it will cover up the sound of my heart beat which is pounding like a wrecking ball against a building.
are they talking about me?
they aren't really asleep.
they're faking it.
they're plotting against me, I know it.
my mind is really racing.
I feel like someone else is in my head.
I know I have to sleep.
I know I need to sleep.
I know it's good to sleep.
but how?
I have to get out of here.
just for a moment.
just for a cigarette.
just to clear my head of these demons and to lay it to bed.
this is sure as hell going to look funny in the morning.
Current Location: Mother's bedroom
Current Mood: paranoid
Current Music: blood pumping in veins and electricity in the air
| 
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
bombshellbettie's journal